Before Cards and Chocolates: What Lovers Really Gave Each Other

Long before Valentine’s Day became associated with cards, chocolates and commercial gestures, it was a much quieter occasion. There were no shop displays urging people to spend more, no expectation of extravagance. Instead, any recognition of the day was rooted in thoughtfulness, time and effort.

To understand how far Valentine’s Day has travelled, it helps to look at where it began.

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Why the 14th of February?

The choice of 14th February is linked to the commemoration of St Valentine, although history suggests there may have been more than one early Christian martyr with that name. What they shared was a reputation for quiet defiance, compassion, and care for others during a time when Christianity was still persecuted in the Roman Empire.

One popular account suggests that Valentine was a priest who continued to perform marriages in secret after they were banned by Emperor Claudius II. Another tells of Valentine offering help and comfort to imprisoned Christians. Whatever the precise truth, Valentine came to represent loyalty, kindness and personal sacrifice-rather than romantic display.

Valentine was executed on 14th February, around the 3rd century, and the date later became associated with his sainthood. Over time, this day of remembrance gradually evolved into one linked with affection and connection.

From Saint’s Day to Seasonal Tradition

By the Middle Ages, Valentine’s Day had taken on a broader cultural meaning. In parts of Europe, February was believed to mark the beginning of the birds’ mating season, which helped reinforce the association with partnership and attachment.

Poets such as Chaucer referenced the day in their writing, and gradually the idea of expressing affection on 14th February took hold. Still, these expressions were modest-a few written lines, a small token, or something made by hand.

There was no expectation of excess. What mattered was acknowledgement.

What People Actually Gave

For most ordinary people - especially working families - Valentine’s gifts were not bought. They were made.

• A carefully stitched handkerchief

• An embroidered sampler bearing initials or a simple motif

• A small sewn pouch, needle case or practical household item

These were useful objects, not decorative luxuries. Fabric was chosen carefully, stitches were neat and secure, and time was set aside to complete the work properly.

In a world where goods were scarce and nothing was disposable, a handmade item carried weight. It was meant to be kept, repaired and used.

Sewing as a Form of Care

To sew something for another person was both practical and personal. It required skill, patience and attention. It was understood that effort itself had value.

Importantly, these gifts were not sentimental in the modern sense. They were grounded, functional, and quietly intimate. Care was shown through usefulness and longevity-not spectacle.

When Meaning Gave Way to Convenience

As industrialisation and mass production took hold, Valentine’s Day began to change. Ready-made goods replaced handmade gestures. Over time, what had once been personal became standardised.

We gained convenience, speed and choice-but gradually lost the connection between effort and meaning. Valentine’s Day became something to purchase, rather than something to consider.

Sandi’s Snippet

Before love became something to buy, it was something you made - patiently, thoughtfully, and with intention.

A Tradition Worth Remembering

Choosing to make something today isn’t about recreating the past or rejecting modern life. It’s about recognising the value of skill, thought and intention in a world that often prioritises speed over substance.

Sewing a gift-or sewing something for yourself-quietly echoes an older tradition. One where care was expressed through craftsmanship, and objects were designed to last.

Perhaps that is what early Valentine gifts truly represented:

Not romance as display, but care expressed through making.